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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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Our Wankers this week are the people who complained to BBC Radio 4 about their coverage of the trial and conviction of the gangmaster responsible for the deaths of those Chinese cockle-pickers in Morecombe Bay.
 
The BBC played - several times in the course of the day - the recording of a phone call one of the victims made on his mobile as the water rushed in and surrounded him. He had only a little English, and all he could say to the helpless operator was "Sinking water! Sinking water!" over and over again.
 
It was ludicrous, and sad, and tragic. A number of listeners contacted the BBC to complain at being made to hear it (presumably they were paralysed, or had their hands taped to their sides so they couldn't switch the radio off). Their plaint was that it was "tasteless", "insensitive" and "unnecessary" to play the recording.
 
The drowning of the illegal migrant workers was dreadful. These were people who had come from China to find work, not because they were starving, but because they could earn twice or three times as much here as they could at home, money which they were mostly sending back to their families who used it to build big houses (it must be true - I heard it on the BBC). In order to do so, they did work that few English people would care to do in conditions few English people would tolerate. Worse still, they were doing it illegally, thus putting themselves in the hands of selfish, reckless criminals who didn't care what happened to them. These facts alone make it very necessary that we should all know what happened to them, distasteful as that may be.
 
They died in a particularly horrible manner - two miles from shore, in darkness and freezing rain, lost and alone, not knowing which way to run as the tide overtook them. All our modern technology - mobile phones, satellite navigation and communications, air-sea rescue helicopters - was fruitless. They couldn't communicate because they didn't speak the language. Even if they had done, they did not know where they were so couldn't have directed the emergency services.
 
If it is "tasteless" to show us all just how awful this event was, so be it. If it was "insensitive" to expose our delicate sensitivities to the reality of other people's lives (and deaths), tough shit.
 
But "unnecessary" it was not. It is entirely necessary that we should know what evils our modern society is capable of. As we sit with our feet up in front of the television in our cosy modern centrally-heated cul-de-sacs, after a hard day's work at the cosily-carpeted office and a gruelling commute home in our air-conditioned Japanese cars, we need to know that other people are two miles out to sea with their feet in the mud, surrounded by a freezing flood that can chase them at twenty miles an hour, with nobody who cares to look out for them - just to gather some little seafood delicacies most of us wouldn't care to eat anyway.
 
It's also completely necessary for us to know that help isn't always just a phone call away, and that there are circumstances where police, fire, ambulance, Trinity House, the lifeboats, the AA, Green Flag, Esther Rantzen and the Samaritans are powerless to rescue us if we can't tell them where we are.
 
And if it takes one poor little man shouting "Sinking water!" down the phone to a baffled operator who is powerless to assist, to give us a vivid picture of the mess we allow people to get into, or may get into ourselves one day - well, that's what it takes.
 
I realise there are some wilting couch-potatoes out there in cul-de-sac land who would never dream of going further from home than the nearest Tesco's. They'd think it irresponsible to undertake any activity more strenuous than a little light gardening. And they'd rather not know about anything more stress-inducing than "Coronation Street" or "Who wants to be a millionaire". They think it's not their responsibility to know or think about the darker corners of our society, still less to do anything. Frankly, their own nice-little tight-little lives are beneath contempt. Their prejudices are insignificant. If they don't want to know or experience, they have no right to an opinion. They should shut up. They aren't real people.
 
They're wankers.
 

 
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